Baby Incursion Report

It has now been 24 hours since the incursion event. Subject (Codename: “The Baby”) continues to exhibit curious properties, behaviours, and fragrances.

In an attempt to better evaluate the subject, a previous incursion subject (Codename: “Big Brother”) was brought in and allowed to spend several hours studying the subject. BB’s first impression transcript includes only a few intelligible thoughts, including “Pretty!”, “Soft!”, and “Needs a haircut!” BB broke expedition protocol to attempt a procedure he referred to as “Poke the baby”, and had to be temporarily restrained. BB will be reintroduced to the subject at a later time in a more controlled environment for further study.

Initial photographic survey of subject has been completed. Results below:

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Baby Alert Condition: Blue

On-site teams report that incursion subject (Codename: “The Baby”) is a remarkable specimen. Subject displays unexplainable levels of strength and alertness, weighs in at at seven pounds, three ounces, and is eighteen inches of rapacious eating machine.

Addendum: Observers posit that the subject may be evolutionarily related to the modern air-raid siren, but far outstrips it’s lesser cousins’ pitch and volume!

Further observations transmitted as the situation develops…

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Baby Alert Condition: Black

Baby action teams confirm full incursion! All holding actions have been exhausted, and we have a baby among us!

Arabella Skye Hartley was born at 6:34 PM on the 14th of August, 2017. Momma and baby are currently feeding and napping simultaneously!

More details will be broadcast as they become available…

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Baby Alert Condition: Red

Alert Condition Red

Forward observation teams now report definitive movement on the part of the intruder (extruder?). All baby-action teams have been scrambled, and are en-route to the incursion site!

Continuing details will be broadcast as they become available…

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Baby Alert Condition: Yellow

NOTE: We’ve been inundated with folks checking in on our little lass, Arabella Skye’s arrival for the last couple of weeks, so I figured that I should start posting updates to the world. In the coming hours, we expect her arrival to commence…

Alert Condition Yellow

Our forward observation teams report the appearance of major perturbations in maternity-space! These contractions are expected to presage an incursion, but haven’t yet necessitated any action on the part of our baby-action teams.

More details will be broadcast as they become available…

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