I hate corporations. I just do. I can’t stand knowing that the person I’m talking to can be the nicest in the world, and do verything in their power to help me, and still screw me.
Two weeks ago, my cell phone broke. Everything still worked (PDA, MP3 player, etc.), but it couldn’t connect to the Verizon phone network any more. Silly me, I called Verizon for technical support. Naturally, I got none, since they don’t support the phone any more.
I decided to bite the bullet, and upgrade. I called back, and asked about their lineup of smart-phones. After I did some offline research, I picked one. I called them back and asked for a bottom line price for buying the new phone, and activating it on my account. The answer came back as “well, the phone costs x, and your new plan will be so much a month”. I stopped the nice young lady to point out that I didn’t want a new plan, or a two year agreement, I just wanted to attach the new phone to my old plan, which I was very happy with. The nice young lady then told me I couldn’t use my old plan, because that plan was no longer offered.
Silly me, I tried logic. I pointed out that I had been sold my current plan with a guarantee that I could keep it for life. The answer? “That guarantee only applies if you do not change your service.” I tried again. “I don’t want to change my service, I want the exact same service.” Her reply: “Well you’re switching to a new phone, you see…”. “But I don’t WANT to change phones, just fix my old one.” “We can’t repair that model, it is no longer supported.” And so on around the mulberry bush, ad-nauseam, through a supervisor AND a team leader (or whatever).
And there it was, the perfect scam. Apparently this “guarantee” I got was actually good for my PHONE’s life, not mine. They had achieved the perfect synergy between apparently unrelated terms in a contract, such that in fact what it said in plain English was in fact not at all what it was saying.
Today I stand before you, a Cingular Wireless customer. I know they won’t treat me any better, but at least I FELT like I won for a few minutes…
