Imagine you are on the deck of an eighteenth century sailing ship. There are a number of large cannon on the deck with you. Each cannon is only secured with a single rope, each one tied to a different part of its cannon and location on the ship. Every few moments, the captain randomly commands […]
Yesterday, I did our weekly grocery shopping. While standing in line at checkout, there was a gen-Zish, hipsterish couple (Assumptions based upon: Holding hands, neither was likely old enough to drink, both wore 1950’s glasses with plain glass in them, and the (presenting) male of the couple had a knit cap on that could easily […]
Metlife(in email): Log in to your account to learn all about our new, enhanced user interface, built with you in mind! Me: Here are my username and password. Metlife: The data you’ve entered doesn’t match credentials on file. Me: Tell me my username. I’ve selected all the cars. Here’s my pet’s name, mother’s middle initial, […]
Me, leaving a medical procedure: Just a minor question, Doctor. Is a known side-effect of that new drug wild, intense, hallucinatory, almost entheogenic dreams? Doctor: Why, yes. Have you had one? Me (on the inside): No, I was just validating your medical degree!Out Loud: Yes, several times a night, all weekend. Doctor: Did you enjoy […]
Last night, just before going to bed, I set our robotic vacuum to clean our downstairs rooms while we slept. Judging by the carnage I found in the living room at 6:30AM, I believe this is what happened: Midway through cleaning the floor, having labored mightily, our robotic vacuum cleaner decided it had earned the […]